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So this year so far. What are you feeling, sensing and seeing?

I’ve decided to get back to writing here. For myself firstly and if any of my meandering thoughts serve to move or inspire or amuse you that’s a bonus 💓

Ive been getting to the beach as much as possible this summer. Soaking in all the beauty that’s there, that’s a healing balm for all that hurts.

I got to hold my 4 year old granddaughter in the arms of Gaia after 4 months of separation. There were angel and dragon clouds in the sky watching us.

We missed all the spring celebrations this year. A year like none I’ve ever experienced before.

It’s been a period of deep learning and cleansing.

I’ve been practising the ways I listen. All these years since 2009, and especially since 2012, when so much changed for me have given me ways to cope and even to start to thrive. Thriving seems like a strange concept during this time but I’ve had glimmers of this peaceful place that’s accessible even during the most challenging times of my life.

I’ve decided to remove my attention as much as possible away from the media and all it’s chaotic confusion. It’s designed that way. To keep us confused, in fear and disempowered. In my neck of the woods you’d get whiplash on a daily basis with the up and down information of the totals of cases. Honestly every day it’s up and down and all around. Hard to discern any kind of truth in it all.

In the chaos though there is opportunity for deep and meaningful change. For all the systems that don’t support all of us. We all know that they haven’t been serving the people as they are supposed to. That they are paid to.

We’re now in the Lions gate portal that is like the galactic new year I just heard. It peaks on August 8 just in time to celebrate with my family my dad’s 89th birthday. I was able to see him away from his retirement home just last week for the first time in 5 months.

For however long it lasts I’ll be making him blueberry pancakes and chocolate anything and I’ll hug him to make up for those months apart.

I’m having these beautiful visions of the new earth on its way after this period of upheaval and cleansing of all that’s broken and done being useful for all of our evolution.

I’m breathing in the fresh air and oxygen of new life on its way

I’m strengthening my immune system within the biome of clear vision and inner knowing

I’m charging up my battery with play and even some joy

Making ready to come out of this with more information about who I really am and where I want to go

Wishing you all some peace in the chaos and knowing though we’re all in that chrysalis phase we’re all going to get through it better supported with ways to strengthen our resiliency and wisdom. Not easy and worth it.

Hope you all come out of this with wings irredescent with light and purpose 💗💗💗🦋

Dear 2016,

You were a wicked bitch.

Sweet and feral.

Brutal and protective.

Raw and loyal.

Joyful and hopeful.

I was hoping for more lush and less dull thudding pain.

I was wishing for more luminous when what was required was more walking through the dark looking for the hurt places.

Grief was near. This second year without my mom was more real and had her missing from so much.

There was new life with sweet Nora that brought so much joy.

Deep pain, riotous happy.

There was relief from all the testing, growing, learning.

Pink rocks, hills of them on Georgian bay, stunning in their moss speckled beauty. The anniversary of your leaving mom. I was there then walking on them and remembering your endless love.

I remember the moon that night. A sickle rising above the lake. All the humans sitting and watching as she rose in the pink light of the setting sun. Breathing with them. Life going on.

All the lakes, Superior, Huron, Michigan. Diving into their depths, immersed full body underneath, away and near.

Washed clean, new in her magic, home.

The Lake Superior shore, the heat, the heat and then the wet, cool deep. Frolicking like a seal, sealskin, soulskin. Back in her, beloved in her, found in her.

And the trees, the rocks, the endless forests along the road.

Time out of mind.

Beaches beneath toe and heel, stone sentinels of granite and gneiss. Speckled grey green and blue, peach and pewter. Each one a jewel in the sand. Guardian and guide post.

Waterfalls and ancient cedars with gnarled roots like Tolkein forests with meandering stone walls marching along the ravines edge. Magic in the very air.

This beauty as real as any pain. This beauty as cutting to the heart. Wrenching open to all of this aliveness.

This leaving its mark, a poetic trail, a scar, inked in beauty on me.

Remembering a year lived in all its complexity, soft and sharp edges. Alive to live it.

Writing down its bones as the year closes not having written all year.

I have no answers as to why when it brings clarity and a settledness to my soul.

2017 you’re here. I want you to be full of wild luminous parties under the moon, Nora walks, girl gangs, new friendships and creative collaborations with other wild minded ones. Perhaps a wander through making and magic and reading tea leaves under the maple tree on chairs like peacocks. Maybe we could all play together in the wild luminous playhouse breathing in enchantment and dreaming while awake.

Life mark me with your poetic paths of memory, your runes of experience and adventure. Your piercings of joy and sorrow so that I know I’m here. I’m alive. I’m a part of it all. The spinning earth, this lush and luminous life. The wet, the dirt, the wild in all of it,

finding myself again in the dark forest under the moon,

love Melissa

MELISSA KAISER DESIGN

The year of 2020 vision

2016, a scar of poetic beauty, a piercing of joy and sorrow